The Reality of parenting...

Let's just start out by describing a few instances over the past few days in my world of parenting.  Sunday, when Mike was at work, I wanted to have a really nice relaxing night at home with the kids. I had visions of movies, popcorn, coloring and snuggling after bathtime.  In reality, after bath time as I was quickly picking up the kitchen Jack pooped in Julia's bathroom. Well, to keep this from being completely graphic, lets just say he struggled with wiping. So, as he tried to "fix" the problem, he got off the toilet, smudging poop all over the toilet and his hands. Then, I hear Julia scream at the top of her lungs because "jack pooped all over her bathroom,"  by this point, Joey has become interested in the sink and had the roll of TP soaked in the sink. When I get to the bedroom, I see the huge disaster! I scream and then proceed to put Jack and Juls BACK into the bathtub in the other bathroom. As they are in the bath, I am trying to clean up the mess.  All of a sudden I hear screams because Joey has fallen in over the side of the bathtub and is now in the tub with his pajamas still on! I sigh as I find myself wanting to scream and yell.  By the time this fiasco was over, I was so past movies and popcorn.  It was me being angry and ultimately putting them to bed.

Just yesterday, Julia had a soccer game.  Mike was at work, so me and my mom wrangle the kids to the game.  After wrestling Julia for 10 minutes to get dressed, put her hair up, get a water bottle, etc, we finally get there. Only for her to refuse to play. Joey got into the other family's cotton candy, Jack was bothing me about wanting to go to the park. Still trying to coax Julia to go on the field, while trying to hold Joey back to make him stay off the field.  I finally gave in to the park with the boys to keep them entertained.  Julia catches a glimpse of us at the park which is just feet from the field, so she quits the game to come to the park. Finally, after I am sweating, feeling like crying and thinking WHY ME, I load all of them up into the van and go home. Put most of them in bed for their bad behavior and just sat there thinking...this was not how I envisioned how this was going to go.

As I sit at work each day, I have such guilt and sadness about being there instead of at home but then when I get home the "picture perfect" evening I have in my mind RARELY ever plays out, leaving me frustrated and overwhelmed.  Thinking, tomorrow this is going to go better. 

So, I have decided to work really hard at being okay with the reality and trying to appreciate all that I do have. Because, lets face it all of my kids are adorable, hillarious and have very interesting personalities.  I need to manage my time better to let them be them! Why push for a 4 year old to abide by team sport rules, why pick battles such as matching clothes, brushed hair and clean rooms. At the end of the day, I want the kids to remember having fun with mom, not remember me yelling at them about every little thing. 
So, I happened to stumble upon a document listing "100 ways to be kind to your child," listing little things that I can do each day to show them how much I love them and care for them. I am making it my mission to try to do one thing on that list each day! Some are super easy, like telling them I love them (which I already do 100x a day) while others are more special and time consuming like "finding time to watch a construction site or showing them how to cut food." I think this challenge is going to be great! 

I have made some changes lately to re-arrange my priorities such as spending less time at work and more time at home, and I think this is also the perfect time to work on my patience.  So, wish me luck on this challenge! :) This should be interesting!!